Gone
by Lexa1711
Summary: Faith has little time to think about what she should do. Tell Buffy how she feels or let her go and risk losing her forever. Fuffy. Please read and review! Chapter 2 is up! Will update very soon! sorry it is taking so long :
1. Chapter 1

Gone

A/N: Just so you don't get too confused, the whole Faith mayor thing never happened. She fought the good fight the whole time

Chapter one: Realizations

She was leaving she knew that much was for sure. The thing that she did not understand was why she was so upset that she was leaving, it was not like they were the best of friends or anything. She hated that Buffy leaving was affecting her so greatly.

"Faith are you okay?"

It was Xander that asked the question. She did not blame him though she had been a party pooper the whole night. The gang had all decided that after the defeat of the mayor that they deserved some time to themselves, and here they were the bronze of all places.

"Yah X-man I am fine."

She cast a glance at the blond sitting directly across from her and smiled sadly.

"I just have a lot on my mind is all."

Buffy had noticed that she had been sulking around the whole night; however until just then when Faith cast that smile at her, she did not know that she was the reason. That was why she decided to tell Faith because she thought that she would be the only one that would not care as much as the others. She thought that she would not try to stop her.

"Okay…Well cheer up cause the next round Is on me."

"When you put it that way I could use a little cheering up."

Buffy watched as Xander smiled at her and walked to the bar to order them all more drinks. She did not think that Faith needed anymore though. She was already on her fifth beer and they had only been there for an hour.

"You know you should slow down on the drinking."

"Yeah…what's it to you blondie?"

Faith tried to act like she always did but she knew that anyone that had cared to look closely at her would know that she was not okay. She was hurting and she hated the reason behind that pain, Buffy.

"I was just saying Faith. You know that drinking that much is not good for you."

"I will be fine B'…I always am."

What the hell was he problem? Buffy knew that she was upset but still she acted like she was Five by five as she would say. There was something that needed to be worked out between them and she was going to get said thing dealt with before she had to leave.

"Yeah…I am going to head back home."

Faith said once Xander had handed her the beer and she downed it in two drinks. She knew that she could not stay here and look at Buffy all night. She was in a bad enough mood as it was. Looking at the blond knowing that she was leaving them all in two weeks was more than she could handle.

She knew that the older slayer would want to know what was wrong with her after awhile, she was just not sure if she was ready to tell her what it was that was bothering her so deeply. Buffy would never understand what she was feeling or what was going on in her head. She wanted the blond to know, she really did but now was not the time. Then again she was leaving and that meant that she may never get the chance to tell her ever again. What if she never came back like she said she would.

"Awe Faith, what's up you never leave this early. Usually we have to haul you out of here at closing."

"I am not feelin' all that great X-man. I will see you at the meeting in the morning though."

Xander watched as she stood up and started to walk away. There was something wrong with her.

"Faith wait."

Buffy called after her hoping that she could get the girl to talk to her more than she had a minute ago.

"No B'…You stay and have fun. I am going to head home and catch some z's call me if you run into any trouble."

"…"

Buffy opened her mouth to tell her that they needed to talk but she was already walking away. Okay so she would have to stop by later after the others went home. She was going to get the truth out of that girl if it was that last thing that she did.

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So yeah Buffy was leaving what was it to her? Faith could do what slaying needed to be done around here and the others could help her if she needed it. So why was she this messed up over the prospect of not seeing the older woman again? There was nothing between them that would make her want to keep the other girl here. They were not even that good of friends when she thought about it.

She stumbled as she dug for the key to her hotel room door. She was right the drinking is not such a good thing for her. After she left them at the bronze she walked to the liquor store and bought to pints of vodka. She was going to have a good night no matter what. Too bad after the first half of a pint she was feeling a little dissy.

After finishing the first bottle she stashed the other one in the inside pocket of her leather jacket and made her way home.

Pushing the door open once the key was turned in the lock she fell in and it was all that she could do to keep herself up.

Moving from the door to the bed she let out a loud sigh at the thoughts that came into her head. She could see the blonds face clearly in her mind and that was enough to annoy her to no end. Staring at the ugly smoke stained ceiling she closed her eyes, wanting to be anywhere but there at that moment.

The image of Buffy floated across her mind again and she sat bolt up right on the bed.

"Oh my god. This cannot be happenin'.

There was no way that she could be right on this one.

"I think that I am in love with Buffy Summers."

The words fell from her lips and fell on deaf ears. She could have sworn that she had not said them at all. How could this have happened? Why did this happen and why was she just figuring out that she fel this way now, after Buffy had told her that she was leaving.

"Fuck."

A knock sounded on her door and made her jump. Who the hell could that be. There was no one that visited her. Buffy was the only…That meant that it was Buffy on the other side on of the door. What was she doing there.

"Yeah it's open."

The door opened slowly and she took in the sight that was the original slayer. How had Faith not realized that she was this stunning before this moment? Maybe it was the alcohol speaking but damn she looked really good.

"Hey B'. What's up."

"I just came to see how you were, you looked pretty upset when you left."

"Yeah well I guess I just had some things that I needed to work through is all.

A/N: hey guys I hope you liked the first chapter. Read and review please.


	2. Chapter 2

Gone

Chapter two: I need answers.

What was she going to tell Buffy now that she knew what had been the cause of her being upset in the first place? The older slayer was sure to ask her what was wrong and she knew that she could not tell her.

There was no way in hell that little misses tightly wowned would feel the same way that she did. And even if she did there was no way that she would say anything about it or let herself. She was Buffy Summers and having feelings for another chick was not something that she would openly admit to anyone.

"Faith need to talk."

"I am not really a talker B' ya know that."

Buffy moved from where she was standing so that she was closer to the younger girl. Her brow creased when she noticed the thick smell of alcohol and she saw the empty bottle sitting on the night stand bedside Faith. She was drunk.

"Why are you drinking? You know that you can't drink this much."

For some reason the was unknown to her she decided not to respond with what she was feeling and the actual reason as to why she had been drinking almost none stop for two weeks, ever since Buffy had told her that she was leaving.

"Little hint for you Princess I can do whatever the hell I want to and there is no one that is going to stop me."

Buffy didn't know how to take this. She had been acting strange ever since she had told her that she was planning on leaving Sunnydale after she graduated in a month. The drinking had picked up then and she had been drunk almost every night since then.

"Faith I know that you hide behind this tough ass attitude that you have going for you."

She paused to make her way closer to Faith and sit on the bed. Faith feeling a bit uncomfortable at the close proximity of the blond pushed further back on the bed, stopping only when her back came into contact with the headboard of the bed.

"You can talk to me Faith. Tell me anything and I am not going to judge you. I know what it is like to feel like you are the only person in this world and no one will ever understand you."

It must have been the vodka making her listen, cause she was and now she was starting to think that Buffy was right. Something in her eyes was bringing out more emotion than she cared to admit that she had.

"Like it's just you."

Faith looked at the blond with all emotion that she had. Pouring out what she felt in her eyes. She knew that she would never have the guts to tell her out loud but she could tell her little hints here and there. Put what she was feeling in her eyes.

"You're wrong…It's not that I feel like I am alone…It's that there is only one other person that I see…One person that I can feel."

Faith spoke the words with more sincerity than Buffy had ever heard her use. There was no joking manner or sexual undertones it was just pure truth and emotion. When did she learn to be so compassionate?

She was surprised that she had gotten the girl to open up so easily. Normally such a feat would have taken a few hours and she still would not have told her as much as she just had.

"Faith? Are you saying that you are in love with some one?"

"That's what I am saying B'."

"Well maybe he feels the same way about you. Have you talked to him?"

"I already know that they do and will never look at me the same way that I look at them. Hell I just figured out what the hell has been wrong with me tonight. This is just too much to handle tonight."

"Faith who is it. Then maybe I can tell you what I think he feels for you."

"Buffy this is just somethin' that you are going to have to leave alone. I know what I know. There is no fuckin' way that you would understand if I told you anyway."

Buffy looked a little hurt at what she was saying. One minute she was starting to open up and the next, well the next was normal Faith. The one that hid everything from the ones that cared about her. The one that was completely closed off emotionally.

"All I am trying to do is help you Faith. Why won't you let me?"

"Cause you can't fix the fuckin' world B' there are just some things that you should not stick you nose into."

Buffy stood from the bed and turned to look at her.

"What the hell is your deal Faith? Every time that you open up just a little to me you shut yourself off almost immediately. Is there something about me that makes you think that you cannot trust me?"

Faith was getting slightly annoyed at this point. Why could Buffy just nit accept the fact that she was not the one that could fix everything. She was not the one that had all the answers. Faith laughed at herself, the irony was very ironic. Buffy was the one that could fix this. She was the one that Faith was in love with.

"I think that you should go on home now Princess I need to get some rest."

"Whatever you want."

With that said she was out the door. Leaving Faith to her thoughts once more. Why could she never act or say the right things when it came to Buffy. Faith wanted so badly to just open up and tell her everything that she was feeling. She knew that if she did there would be a considerable amount of friction that was lifted off of the two.

"God B' the things _that_ you do to me."

Once she was out of the door with it securely closed behind her she sopped leaning against it. Why was this so hard it was only Faith? There had never been anyone mess her up this bad since Angel and everyone knows how that worked out.

She that was when she heard what faith said. She must have thought she was gone by now. '_God B' what you do to me." _ What the hell had she meant by that?

Leaving the steps she continued home.

Faith looked up when she heard foot steps leaving the door step. That must have meant that she did not leave. She had been there and heard what she said. Well this should be interesting. Buffy was probably freaking out at the moment. That is if she figured out what the statement had been about.


End file.
